captainsaltymuyfancy:

westbor0baptistchurch:

i like my anus free-range, organically and locally grown

who doesn’t? 

captainsaltymuyfancy:

westbor0baptistchurch:

i like my anus free-range, organically and locally grown

who doesn’t? 

mechagod:

i’m

mechagod:

i’m

loubis-and-champagne:

x
Girl: "Am I pretty?"
Boy: "No."
Girl: "Do you want to be with me forever?"
Boy: "No."
Girl: "Would you be upset if I walked away?"
Boy: "No."
Girl : "Would you cry if I died?"
Boy: "No."
She had heard enough and was hurt so she walked away with tears rolling down her face.
The boy grabbed her arm, and said, "Also, I fucked your best friend."

mechanicusdeus:

apriorsectorinternalsecurity:

masturbaedding:

lisaquestions:

glowcloud:

i love the Women Against Feminism that are like “I dont need feminism because i can admit i need my husband to open a jar for me and thats ok!” cause listen 1. get a towel 2. get…

kateordie:

Stop Chris Pratt before it’s too late 2k14

The follow-up, good god

A crunchie?

musici:

monobeartheater:

verylittlebird:

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

what the fuck

AHAHAHAHA

crystallized-teardrops:

i either read for 4 hours straight or dont read for 4 months there is no in between