Sir, as this is Tuesday, it’s my feeling that Wednesday could occur...– H.M (Howlin’ Mad) Murdoch
M: people are born gay. It takes the internet to become a furry.
S: someone on tumblr tried to liken the plight of the furry to native american spirit animals.
M: i dont recall seeing any anime cheetahs buttfucking on any cave walls.
xminus1: It’s actually men you’ll find who are far more romantic. Men are the people you will hear say, “I found somebody. She’s amazing. If I don’t get to be with this person I’m fucked. I can’t carry on… I mean I know it. She’s totally transformed my life. I can’t stand it… I have to be with her, because if I don’t I’ll end up in some bedsit, I’ll be an alcoholic, I’ll have itchy trousers. I...
My house is a recovering alcoholic's worst...
We’re using Dia De Los Muertos and Dia De Los Merlot bottles as accent pieces in the kitchen, I plan on having a lamp made from a Jack Daniels bottle and also collecting bottle caps to make into fridge magnets. Where have I gone wrong.
T: Hey, guess what? I'm messaging you from the toilet!
S: Hey, guess what? Earlier, I detached the toilet seat and spun the edge between my buttcheeks.
When these kids break the elevator
and I’m 100% sure that it will happen, I am 120% sure that their parents will bitch at me for faulty equipment. Next time I’m just gonna throw my stapler at the children until they’re terrified to even think about the elevator.
headabovewaterrr: When guys treat their girlfriends like shit because they have insecurities… That really bugs me. If a girl wanted to be with someone else, they’d do it. Goes the other way around, too.
Band tattoos are a dumb idea.
PS I plan on getting this someday:
My Granny told me today that i have a “height problem”. She was referencing how my uncle and my papa are both short. The full sentence was “you know how you have a height problem? Well, Michael has a height problem too, just in the opposite direction.” I love my Granny and i love her honesty, but when she said that i felt weird. “Height problem”? Most...
You’re always haunted by the idea you’re wasting your life.– Chuck Palahniuk (via jesskuo)
At first it was just a passing fancy
but now I am 100% sure that I want dermals in my lower back like the tramp I am, because I think back dimples are cute and I don’t have any. So I will fake it.
kinlor: I lost my first follower. Be proud of me!
My little sister is 11 years old. We adopted her...
queenkristine: starbait: starbait: How can she hear the song if she’s deaf… oh shit so true… lies
Every time I see slut-shaming on my dash I die...
honestlydear: bigveinsdogbait: Why is it wrong to be a slut? Why is it wrong for a woman to dress in whatever she likes, or God forbid, have more than one sexual partner? Why aren’t men labeled and shamed for this if it’s so wrong? Please, take your misogyny and shove it up your arses. Preach it. Posts like this make me feel conflicted and sort of misunderstood. Not liking sluts, and...
When I was little
and I came upon a section of a book that I found boring or that I didn’t understand, I read it slowly. Word by word I would make myself ingest the offending paragraph until I understood its meaning or until I learned to appreciate the importance of the information. It was sort of a challenge to me, to be able to piece together the puzzle. Nowadays I just skip over those parts.
I think i may be depressed. Like clinically. I am used to having crappy days mixed in with good days but this awful funk has been sticking around for months. I know a few reasons dr drew pinsky would cite as possible triggers but thinking about most of them doesnt spark any particular emotion from me. Then again, nothing really does lately. I feel more antisocial than usual (which is a feat...
Seduction in front of a fan. What you think vs....
purebloodslytherin: What you THINK you look like when you stand in front of a fan to be seductive: What you ACTUALLY look like:
Sarah: I either have Asperger's/am a high-functioning autistic, or I'm a dumbass who thankfully learned how to spell.
DaddySlapMyAss: I love you but I think you're just kind of stupid.
Sarah: Sigh. At least I saved myself a lot of dough otherwise spent on expensive therapists.
DaddySlapMyAss: I would suggest not putting that money to any mind-altering substances. You need all the brain cells you can get.
Sarah: Thank you for your neverending support.