June 2011
5 tags
Jun 1st
3,498 notes
Jun 1st
Jun 1st
5,742 notes
Jun 1st
96,819 notes
Jun 1st
1,679 notes
Jun 1st
22,886 notes
Jun 1st
350 notes
May 2011
1 tag
“Sir, as this is Tuesday, it’s my feeling that Wednesday could occur...”
– H.M (Howlin’ Mad) Murdoch
May 31st
2 tags
M: people are born gay. It takes the internet to become a furry.
S: someone on tumblr tried to liken the plight of the furry to native american spirit animals.
M: i dont recall seeing any anime cheetahs buttfucking on any cave walls.
May 31st
1 note
May 31st
17,163 notes
May 31st
10 notes
xminus1: It’s actually men you’ll find who are far more romantic. Men are the people you will hear say, “I found somebody. She’s amazing. If I don’t get to be with this person I’m fucked. I can’t carry on… I mean I know it. She’s totally transformed my life. I can’t stand it… I have to be with her, because if I don’t I’ll end up in some bedsit, I’ll be an alcoholic, I’ll have itchy trousers. I...
May 31st
3 notes
My house is a recovering alcoholic's worst...
We’re using Dia De Los Muertos and Dia De Los Merlot bottles as accent pieces in the kitchen, I plan on having a lamp made from a Jack Daniels bottle and also collecting bottle caps to make into fridge magnets. Where have I gone wrong.
May 31st
T: Hey, guess what? I'm messaging you from the toilet!
S: Hey, guess what? Earlier, I detached the toilet seat and spun the edge between my buttcheeks.
T: ...
May 31st
5 tags
When these kids break the elevator
and I’m 100% sure that it will happen, I am 120% sure that their parents will bitch at me for faulty equipment. Next time I’m just gonna throw my stapler at the children until they’re terrified to even think about the elevator.
May 31st
2 notes
May 31st
2,943 notes
1 tag
May 31st
29,752 notes
headabovewaterrr: When guys treat their girlfriends like shit because they have insecurities… That really bugs me. If a girl wanted to be with someone else, they’d do it.   Goes the other way around, too.
May 31st
9 tags
May 31st
693 notes
3 tags
Band tattoos are a dumb idea.
PS I plan on getting this someday:
May 31st
2 tags
May 30th
36 notes
1 tag
May 30th
316 notes
May 30th
294 notes
2 tags
May 30th
734 notes
My Granny told me today that i have a “height problem”. She was referencing how my uncle and my papa are both short. The full sentence was “you know how you have a height problem? Well, Michael has a height problem too, just in the opposite direction.” I love my Granny and i love her honesty, but when she said that i felt weird. “Height problem”? Most...
May 30th
3 notes
May 30th
445 notes
May 29th
51,047 notes
“You’re always haunted by the idea you’re wasting your life.”
–  Chuck Palahniuk (via jesskuo)
May 29th
343 notes
May 29th
74 notes
May 29th
5,792 notes
2 tags
May 29th
5 tags
At first it was just a passing fancy
but now I am 100% sure that I want dermals in my lower back like the tramp I am, because I think back dimples are cute and I don’t have any. So I will fake it.
May 29th
2 notes
May 29th
1,470 notes
4 tags
May 29th
269 notes
May 29th
1,035 notes
GUYS, GUYS!
kinlor: I lost my first follower. Be proud of me!
May 29th
11 notes
My little sister is 11 years old. We adopted her...
queenkristine: starbait: starbait: How can she hear the song if she’s deaf… oh shit so true… lies 
May 29th
11,583 notes
9 tags
Every time I see slut-shaming on my dash I die...
honestlydear: bigveinsdogbait: Why is it wrong to be a slut? Why is it wrong for a woman to dress in whatever she likes, or God forbid, have more than one sexual partner? Why aren’t men labeled and shamed for this if it’s so wrong? Please, take your misogyny and shove it up your arses. Preach it.  Posts like this make me feel conflicted and sort of misunderstood. Not liking sluts, and...
May 29th
211 notes
4 tags
When I was little
and I came upon a section of a book that I found boring or that I didn’t understand, I read it slowly. Word by word I would make myself ingest the offending paragraph until I understood its meaning or until I learned to appreciate the importance of the information. It was sort of a challenge to me, to be able to piece together the puzzle. Nowadays I just skip over those parts.
May 29th
2 notes
May 28th
55,208 notes
May 28th
19,821 notes
May 28th
122 notes
May 28th
2,100 notes
May 28th
2,399 notes
I think i may be depressed. Like clinically. I am used to having crappy days mixed in with good days but this awful funk has been sticking around for months. I know a few reasons dr drew pinsky would cite as possible triggers but thinking about most of them doesnt spark any particular emotion from me. Then again, nothing really does lately. I feel more antisocial than usual (which is a feat...
May 28th
2 notes
May 28th
20,146 notes
Seduction in front of a fan. What you think vs....
purebloodslytherin: What you THINK you look like when you stand in front of a fan to be seductive: What you ACTUALLY look like:
May 28th
8 notes
May 28th
241 notes
6 tags
Sarah: I either have Asperger's/am a high-functioning autistic, or I'm a dumbass who thankfully learned how to spell.
DaddySlapMyAss: I love you but I think you're just kind of stupid.
Sarah: Sigh. At least I saved myself a lot of dough otherwise spent on expensive therapists.
DaddySlapMyAss: I would suggest not putting that money to any mind-altering substances. You need all the brain cells you can get.
Sarah: Thank you for your neverending support.
May 28th
2 notes
May 27th
681 notes