when my PARENTS wakes me up early for no reason..
so when they try to take a nap …IM ALL LIKE
August 2011
July 2011
“I’ve always felt that the best whips and chains are in the mind. With a little creativity, the physical ones are hardly necessary.”
—Lara Raith to Tricia Scrump (AKATrixie Vixen) From Blood Rites. (via fuckyeahharrydresden)
dear wiccans
Honest question: if the god and goddess are all things, including yourself, then they are on equal ground as everything else, unlike the christian god who is separate and above all things. Everything being equal, how can you worship them? I do not worship any person, because they are no greater (or lesser) than myself. I’m not being rude, it’s an honest question. Thanks.
jk rowling and the sims people should team up right the fuck now and make a harry potter sims game
the sims could live in hogwarts and interact with other students and go to classes and shit and instead of the skills being athletic, logic, gardening etc it could be potions, charms, transfiguration, etc
why the fuck hasn’t this happened yet
We would lose a good chunk of the population to this.
They would have to invent a special kind of hybrid therapy for this.
So i’m gonna try sugaring Consuelo.
I did real waxing once before and it was the worst experience of my life. Even worse than when i scratch my eyeball with my fingernail, which happened ten minutes ago.
Consuelo is my vag’s name, btw.
apparently my poop talk is unsettling for some
just lost a follower.
Dear unfollower:
I guess you don’t like my blog. I can’t understand why, but it’s your loss. This is quality blogging material.
smell ya later, whoever you were.
there are moments when...........
- i look at my comic book collection, my action figures, still in their original packaging and my akira posters.......and I say, its amazing Ive ever been inside of a vagina........way to go me.
yo I don’t know what I ate but I have the world’s worst diarrhea right now. Every five minutes I feel like I’m so full of poopwater it’s gonna fly out like spin art all over the walls. I got goosebumps that won’t go away and my stomach is killing me.
Maybe I ate something with dairy in it by accident? Ugggh and every two minutes some mf calls me or comes to the front desk so I can’t even shit in peace. They bang on the counter and yell “HELLO HELLO” even though the sign for “back in 5” is up and they’re standing right next to the bathroom I’m currently painting brown so they know I’m in there taking a shit.
No common decency I swear. Some jerk let his kid trail fat pieces of chip crumbs down the hallway for 50 feet, ending in piles of chips all over the couch and he just said “sorry” in a nonchalant way because he just didn’t give a fuck. I wanted to ask him if he keeps his house this filthy but then I bet I’d get fired.
Anyways I can’t stop pooping. The end.
The Bogeyman
A bogeyman/boogieman is an amorphous imaginary being used by adults to frighten children into behaving. The monster has no specific appearance, and conceptions about it can vary drastically from household to household within the same community; in many cases, he has no set appearance in the mind of a child, but is simply a non-specific embodiment of terror.
Parents may tell their children that if they misbehave the bogeyman will get them. Bogeymen may target a specific mischief — for instance, a bogeyman that punishes children who suck their thumbs — or general misbehaviour, whichever need serves the adult’s purpose best. In some cases the bogeyman is a nickname for the devil.
Bogeyman tales vary by region. In some places, the bogeyman is male; in others, female, and in others, both.
In some midwestern states of the United States, the bogeyman scratches at the window. In the Pacific Northwest, he may manifest as green fog. In other places, he hides or appears from under the bed or in the closet…it is said that a wart can be transmitted to a person from the bogeyman’s touch.
Other variations of the bogeyman include:
Sack Man: portrayed as a wizened old man carrying a sack who wanders the streets and takes disbehaving children away, never to be seen again. In some countries he sneaks the children out through the window at night, and in others he is summoned by the parents.
El Cuco: Humanoid creature with glowing red eyes who hides in the closet or under the bed. He comes to steal children who don’t go to sleep.
Babau: Portrayed as a tall man in a heavy black coat, with a veil covering his face. He does not harm or eat the children-rather, he whisks them away to a frightening and dangerous place and is said to keep the children for a year.
HOW TO TREAT YOUR LOBES LIKE SHIT →
fuckyeahstretchedears.tumblr.com
1. Start off strong. Pierce them with a safety pin (make sure you rub some alcohol on that shit, alcohol kills all the germies!) Wear it to school, show it off to your friends.
2. Stretch them with aluminum crochet hooks, fast-food straws, pencils… etc.
3. That goopy white stuff coming out of your ears is grosso but alcohol and neosporin will make it go away.
4. WEAR TAPERS, THEY LOOK SO BADASS
5. It’s supposed to hurt. The more it hurts, the better.
6. Never spend more than 15 bucks on a pair of ”gauges”.
7. Don’t listen to ANYONE. Theyre all just JELLY LAWL.
8. 3 months later, congrats, you’re at an inch and your lobes look like this.