jazzagefaerie:

“Most people can’t understand because they just can’t imagine wanting to commit such horrific acts of unimaginable cruelty. They can’t begin to understand this obsession of mine. They think that if you fantasize about something you must want to make the fantasy come true. But it’s far more complicated than that. They can’t understand how I could fantasize such disgusting imagery, how I could derive such pleasure from that fantasy, and yet be so disgusted later by the exact same thoughts or urges, or at the thought of how much I enjoyed the fantasy just moments before… But afterward I felt such a sense of loathing and self-hatred that I often longed for my execution. I was tired of being tormented by my own sick, demented mind. So unbelievably tired.”

- Michael Bruce Ross.